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"A free bird leaps on the back of the wind and floats downstream till the current ends and dips his wing in the orange sun rays and dares to claim the sky." Maya Angelou
Monday, January 26, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Pokemon Birthday
Can you imagine doing exactly what you've always wanted all day on your birthday? Can you imagine how special you would have felt if your parents supported you so strongly that they were to invite all of your closest friends to play, just with you, exactly what you wanted to play to commemorate your birthday? Will sure did feel special! He had 16 boys and his big sister here to play Pokemon, to trade and laugh and be silly. It was his 10th birthday celebration. But what I'm coming to understand as the years pass is that this is just one more day in his joyful life. Although it was special and fun, it wasn't necessarily a milestone in his eyes. This is his life. Feeling special and following his passions are everyday for him. It's what he expects from life. And, though it may have seemed a milestone to me (he did turn 10 after all!) the beauty in the day lies deeper.....it's that we have created for ourselves and our famly a reality in which every day is SPECIAL and what we want. Everyday is ripe with the possibility of laughter and fun and friends. Everyday is a milestone. This, I realize now, is why we have chosen this unschooling path. And when we hit the inevitable bumps in the road, I remember this everyday and am very thankful for it.
Monday, January 12, 2009
First great sledding of the season and waiting for the cousins: New Year's Day
WOW! What a title.....But that's it in a nutshell......and the first time outside that I had my camera. These happy kids had a few runs before their cousins showed up from Vermont to spend the day, playing, exploring the woods, drinking hot chocolate, sliding, swimming, eating, and LAUGHING!
Glad to finally have these up...I have so many more pictures to show....
Until soon,
Happy New Year!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
What do you do all day??
In response to this often asked question, I have to say that no two days are ever alike for us in our unschooling life. That's the magic of it! We certainly have a flow to our days, but letting them unravel the way that we want to, each uniquely following the other, is really what this lifestyle is all about. Here, I'll write about Wednesday, January 7th, a typical (and yet unique) day in our lives.....
We woke up to more ice this morning! It was beautiful, the trees all creaking and swaying with the tinkling music to accompany the movement. Oh, well....I guess swimming at the Y is out....we have too many hills to get down to make that work. To my surprise, CC and Grace wanted to have hot chocolate on the front porch to watch the ice. It wasn't so cold, so out they went with their blankies and cups of hot chocolate, to sip and wonder at nature. Will was already up, reading Harry Potter with John, so they opted for the warm indoors. After John left for work, Will and I played "Toss Up" (Grace was my roller) up to 150 points, while CC played on Webkinz. We then played Ten Speed (we haven't played that for a while and I had forgotten how much fun it was!) and then when Fran woke up, we played Sleeping Queens, while the girls colored some pictures.
Fran and Will decided to open their new PC game Civilization that they got for Christmas. It was a bit daunting, looking at the manual (which was organized into chapters!)....however, they quickly started having fun after about 20 minutes of working through the frustration of figuring out something completely unknown for the first time. They played off and on all day, until John got home. Meanwhile, the girls wanted to give their new stuffed kitties a bath in the tub, so they jumped in, too and played happily for about an hour. Then, I read with the girls (some books that we had gotten at the "new" library!) and we made pumpkin muffins. We decided to have tea with muffins and of course we needed appropraite tea party music, which led to full dress up and dancing in the kitchen.
Amidst all of this were the questions. I tell people that the most important thing that I can do is to answer questions for the kids, or help them to find the answers. Unschooling is about the discussion, the searcing and finding, the question leading to the next question. So, we talked about Alexander the Great (and looked him up in our REALLY old encyclopedias that I had as a girl).....Mao Zedong, Ghandi......we talked about where cities are built and why. We talked about how words are spelled (for CC...she's trying to crack the reading code), we talked about math and how things add up and why it's good to know how to do things in your head and how to figure out how to group numbers so it's easier), we talked about credit cards and how things have changed since John and I were growing up (my parents only used cash!) and why the interest on cards is high, and mortgages and when we'll own our house outright and why the people up the street needed to foreclose and the state of the economy today and how much we spend on our family's expenses. We talked about different characteristics of animals and the olders helped the youngers to understand what makes a mammal a mammal. We sang and we danced and we cleaned and we played and we discussed and we solved problems.....together.
That was our day. We weren't out and about as we usually are thanks to the ice. But sometimes, the inside days are the best. Time to reflect, to enjoy, to absorb and let things sit. Does it fit the standard "expert's" idea of learning A to get to B to get to C....NO! It's more of a winding, building, layering of knowledge. A natural one thing leading to another. It's not clean...sometimes it's really messy. And most "educational experts" couldn't readily see the learning going on (heck, I used to BE one of those experts!) But I sure do see it now...and so do the kids.
We woke up to more ice this morning! It was beautiful, the trees all creaking and swaying with the tinkling music to accompany the movement. Oh, well....I guess swimming at the Y is out....we have too many hills to get down to make that work. To my surprise, CC and Grace wanted to have hot chocolate on the front porch to watch the ice. It wasn't so cold, so out they went with their blankies and cups of hot chocolate, to sip and wonder at nature. Will was already up, reading Harry Potter with John, so they opted for the warm indoors. After John left for work, Will and I played "Toss Up" (Grace was my roller) up to 150 points, while CC played on Webkinz. We then played Ten Speed (we haven't played that for a while and I had forgotten how much fun it was!) and then when Fran woke up, we played Sleeping Queens, while the girls colored some pictures.
Fran and Will decided to open their new PC game Civilization that they got for Christmas. It was a bit daunting, looking at the manual (which was organized into chapters!)....however, they quickly started having fun after about 20 minutes of working through the frustration of figuring out something completely unknown for the first time. They played off and on all day, until John got home. Meanwhile, the girls wanted to give their new stuffed kitties a bath in the tub, so they jumped in, too and played happily for about an hour. Then, I read with the girls (some books that we had gotten at the "new" library!) and we made pumpkin muffins. We decided to have tea with muffins and of course we needed appropraite tea party music, which led to full dress up and dancing in the kitchen.
Amidst all of this were the questions. I tell people that the most important thing that I can do is to answer questions for the kids, or help them to find the answers. Unschooling is about the discussion, the searcing and finding, the question leading to the next question. So, we talked about Alexander the Great (and looked him up in our REALLY old encyclopedias that I had as a girl).....Mao Zedong, Ghandi......we talked about where cities are built and why. We talked about how words are spelled (for CC...she's trying to crack the reading code), we talked about math and how things add up and why it's good to know how to do things in your head and how to figure out how to group numbers so it's easier), we talked about credit cards and how things have changed since John and I were growing up (my parents only used cash!) and why the interest on cards is high, and mortgages and when we'll own our house outright and why the people up the street needed to foreclose and the state of the economy today and how much we spend on our family's expenses. We talked about different characteristics of animals and the olders helped the youngers to understand what makes a mammal a mammal. We sang and we danced and we cleaned and we played and we discussed and we solved problems.....together.
That was our day. We weren't out and about as we usually are thanks to the ice. But sometimes, the inside days are the best. Time to reflect, to enjoy, to absorb and let things sit. Does it fit the standard "expert's" idea of learning A to get to B to get to C....NO! It's more of a winding, building, layering of knowledge. A natural one thing leading to another. It's not clean...sometimes it's really messy. And most "educational experts" couldn't readily see the learning going on (heck, I used to BE one of those experts!) But I sure do see it now...and so do the kids.
Friday, January 09, 2009
My boy is turning 10 tomorrow!
Where have the drooly bibs gone? How about the dressing up like a ballerina with Fran? How about even his infatuation with all moving things? Or nights of only eating plain pasta with butter? My lovable, sweet, smart, handsome boy is growing up into a lovable, sweet, smart, handsome young man. I guess it's OK to shed a few tears about what I miss of the "Little Will". But the "Big Will" is pretty special, just the same!
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Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
This has become my favorite thing to do at the end of the year....it's so much fun to watch the kids grow throughout the year....sometimes I shed some tears as I watch the time fly, and cherish every moment.
May your new year bring many bright days and shining moments and may you become your best self.....
May your new year bring many bright days and shining moments and may you become your best self.....
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Saturday, November 29, 2008
Working Parents
Ren asked for submissions to the blog carnival on the following topic: "Yes, we're all "working" parents, but I'm referring specifically to parents who are earning an income. We all have unique methods of providing for our families, from cottage industry to full-time-outside-the-home employment. How does your family unschool and earn money? Do you make something, sell something or work for someone? How do these choices affect your children and your lifestyle?"
Here goes!:
John and I both work outside the home (as well as inside it and on it!!) Our schedules are both very flexible and I feel very grateful for that....it allows un enough time together and with the kids to make unschooling work. I have been working for 7 years now as the Director of a volunteer program, around 20 hours of work per week: 15 or so in my office, and a few at home on the trusty old Dell and cell phone. My kids are very much at the heart of what I do and why I do it. I believe that we all have a responsibility to give soemthing back and since I've been very fortunate to have been given so much, this is my way of giving back. I facilitate the process by which (mostly) young people can take a year and live it in service to others, most often in country or culture that is different from their own. I feel like my work is an extension of my life as an unschooler. And little did I know as a young Peace Corps Volunteer many years ago, that my life would be as it is today. I guess it has all been leading toward this moment and the life that John and I have now.
John changed jobs about an year and a half ago. What a blessing! He's now working as a Clinical Social Worker with the mentally ill population. It keeps him very busy, working one-on-one with people and really making a difference. I believe that our lifestyle really impacts his way of thinking while he is working and has positively changed the courses of the lives of his clients as he has gotten to know them.
His work also allows him to work 4 10-hour days (Wednesday through Saturday). He is the parent at home Monday and Tuesday and often the activity of choice is something outdoors. They hike a lot on those days, visit Gran in the nursing home, visit the Ecotarium, or have new adventures outdoors. They also do a lot of reading aloud. When I'm home, we are on the go: homeschool co-op, swimming at the Y, book groups, library, grocery shopping, visiting the animal shelter and the assistance dogs, crafting at home, play dates with friends, going to museums.
Unschooling really allows us to not only share our lives with our kids, but for them to be an active part of our work. They often hear me talking to volunteers on the phone, solving problems, setting up schedules for new volunteer orientation, etc. They also often hear John interacting with clients when he is on-call. Our lives are not separate from theirs. They are intertwined and I honestly believe that the conversations, the dialogue, the ability to be privy to the adult world is where their learning is. For most of our culture, parents lead separate work lives that leave their children wondering what it is that Mom or Dad does all day. As with the other parts of our lives, when I realized that integrating the kids into my work (instead of trying to find ways to leave them out), everyone can benefit.
Here goes!:
John and I both work outside the home (as well as inside it and on it!!) Our schedules are both very flexible and I feel very grateful for that....it allows un enough time together and with the kids to make unschooling work. I have been working for 7 years now as the Director of a volunteer program, around 20 hours of work per week: 15 or so in my office, and a few at home on the trusty old Dell and cell phone. My kids are very much at the heart of what I do and why I do it. I believe that we all have a responsibility to give soemthing back and since I've been very fortunate to have been given so much, this is my way of giving back. I facilitate the process by which (mostly) young people can take a year and live it in service to others, most often in country or culture that is different from their own. I feel like my work is an extension of my life as an unschooler. And little did I know as a young Peace Corps Volunteer many years ago, that my life would be as it is today. I guess it has all been leading toward this moment and the life that John and I have now.
John changed jobs about an year and a half ago. What a blessing! He's now working as a Clinical Social Worker with the mentally ill population. It keeps him very busy, working one-on-one with people and really making a difference. I believe that our lifestyle really impacts his way of thinking while he is working and has positively changed the courses of the lives of his clients as he has gotten to know them.
His work also allows him to work 4 10-hour days (Wednesday through Saturday). He is the parent at home Monday and Tuesday and often the activity of choice is something outdoors. They hike a lot on those days, visit Gran in the nursing home, visit the Ecotarium, or have new adventures outdoors. They also do a lot of reading aloud. When I'm home, we are on the go: homeschool co-op, swimming at the Y, book groups, library, grocery shopping, visiting the animal shelter and the assistance dogs, crafting at home, play dates with friends, going to museums.
Unschooling really allows us to not only share our lives with our kids, but for them to be an active part of our work. They often hear me talking to volunteers on the phone, solving problems, setting up schedules for new volunteer orientation, etc. They also often hear John interacting with clients when he is on-call. Our lives are not separate from theirs. They are intertwined and I honestly believe that the conversations, the dialogue, the ability to be privy to the adult world is where their learning is. For most of our culture, parents lead separate work lives that leave their children wondering what it is that Mom or Dad does all day. As with the other parts of our lives, when I realized that integrating the kids into my work (instead of trying to find ways to leave them out), everyone can benefit.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Trees
Trees are a pretty important part of our lives. I realized this very clearly recently as we were raking our fallen maple leaves in the yard. They are always collected by the huge city trucks in the fall. Having thirty steps up to our house and upwards of 10 very large maples in our backyard makes getting the leaves to the street no easy feat. It's a lot of work. But I found myself looking forward to sunny Fall days to do it. And guess who joined right in?...resident tree lovers in the form of 4 Fleming kids. What a blast! Now, the leaves are gone, Thanksgiving is over and so begins the wait for the silvery light green of the Spring to emerge on our precious Maples.
Here are a few photos of some favorite trees around and the Fleming tree lovers entwined in their branches. One is the giant beech at Assumption College. Grace can even climb this one, and Fran and Will made it very high into the branches this year, with CC close behind. The other is some sort of fir tree at Wachusett Meadow that literally reaches out to us when we're there, itching to be climbed.
I have always felt the living presence of trees
the forest that calls to me as deeply as I breathe,
as though the woods were marrow of my bone as though
I myself were tree, a breathing, reaching arc of the larger canopy
beside a brook bubbling to foam like the one
deep in these woods, that calls
that whispers home
Here are a few photos of some favorite trees around and the Fleming tree lovers entwined in their branches. One is the giant beech at Assumption College. Grace can even climb this one, and Fran and Will made it very high into the branches this year, with CC close behind. The other is some sort of fir tree at Wachusett Meadow that literally reaches out to us when we're there, itching to be climbed.
The Presence of Trees
by Michael S. Glaser
by Michael S. Glaser
I have always felt the living presence of trees
the forest that calls to me as deeply as I breathe,
as though the woods were marrow of my bone as though
I myself were tree, a breathing, reaching arc of the larger canopy
beside a brook bubbling to foam like the one
deep in these woods, that calls
that whispers home
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Monday, September 01, 2008
full of simple adventures
"Who's in there, Mommy?"
Finishing touches on sugar cookies, and.....
...Voila!
Beautiful kitties: Stella and Whiskers.
Beautiful black kittens, waiting to be adopted.
The whole gang in front of WARL.
Girls in the sun on top of a mountain!
Maybe I should "ruin" the pizza dough more often!!The rising cost of just about everything has led me to seek out new, but free or very cheap, ways for us to have adventures doing the things that we love. I'm posting a few pictures here that really tell the story better than I ever could....from volunteering at the Worcester Animal Rescue League, hiking at Mt. Wachusett with friends, and making the most out of our failed (and goopy!) pizza dough. Here's to bargains!!
Sunday, August 03, 2008
reflection
Here I am typing for a minute as John has just returned from a week away climbing in the mountains with his brother. It's wonderful to have him home....and boy, did he get hugs when he landed!
I'm surprised by the reaction of some people to his trip. A friend of mine asked how I could let him go? As if I were "allowing" him....I realized then that we ARE different from other families. I know how important this is for John to go every year, not only for his relationship with his brother, but it's a very spiritual thing for him to be up high. He needs it. And I understand. I don't "allow" him to go. It is hard to be with the kids 24/7 with him gone....nobody to bounce ideas off of, nobody to get a hug from when I'm feeling impatient, etc. But, if I needed something, he would make sure it happened for me. Out of respect, out of courtesy, out of love. This is exactly the way our family operates. We treat our kids this way, too....we help them get what they want because we love them and respect them....and it goes both ways.
I'm surprised by the reaction of some people to his trip. A friend of mine asked how I could let him go? As if I were "allowing" him....I realized then that we ARE different from other families. I know how important this is for John to go every year, not only for his relationship with his brother, but it's a very spiritual thing for him to be up high. He needs it. And I understand. I don't "allow" him to go. It is hard to be with the kids 24/7 with him gone....nobody to bounce ideas off of, nobody to get a hug from when I'm feeling impatient, etc. But, if I needed something, he would make sure it happened for me. Out of respect, out of courtesy, out of love. This is exactly the way our family operates. We treat our kids this way, too....we help them get what they want because we love them and respect them....and it goes both ways.
Friday, June 06, 2008
Must Be Summer
Must be summer around here....Lovely girls mowing the lawn with Daddy in their pink nighties, our first backyard fire with marshmallows and hot dogs, baths in a bucket, chess on the front porch, and first corn husk dolls of the season.....are these the reasons we love summer so much? Well, yeah!
Sunday, March 02, 2008
winter wonderland
Historically, February has been quite a dreary month for me.....I'm way past the excitement of the first snow, and of Christmas, and of Will's birthday, and I'm getting tired of putting lots of layers on little bodies to head outside for what seems like ten minutes before someone gets cold. But this February is different. Maybe I'm different. Maybe our lives are different. I'm loving the comfy feeling of being inside on a Sunday afternoon all together, with the freshly fallen 11 inches of snow pristine white outside. It's warm and everybody is busy, either together or on their own things. We are a family and February is beautiful.
I was very shocked and saddened to hear of the death of a fellow homeschooling Mom from New York. She leaves two daughters and a husband. It's a vivid reminder that February is what you make of it. Today is what you make of it. There might not be a tomorrow.
Enjoy the pictures of our beautiful kids comfy warm and happy inside in February. We're enjoying every minute with them.
I was very shocked and saddened to hear of the death of a fellow homeschooling Mom from New York. She leaves two daughters and a husband. It's a vivid reminder that February is what you make of it. Today is what you make of it. There might not be a tomorrow.
Enjoy the pictures of our beautiful kids comfy warm and happy inside in February. We're enjoying every minute with them.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
Thoughts
MUD, walking, pinewood derby, "snow girls", beautiful drawings, and FRIENDS! That's what we've been up to lately... See? :)
I find myself going back often to a great homeschooling book written by an Unschooling parent from Massachusetts (!) named Rue Kream. It's called Parenting a Free Child: An Unschooling Life. Each time I read it, something new jumps out at me. In a recent conversatioon with Fran and Will, both individually said that what they liked best about homeschooling is spending so much time with their family. I know in my heart that it's what's best for them and for us, and it's so good to have them feel that way, too. And it's even more validating to have Rue, someone who is so good with words, put it down on paper. So, since she's already written it, I'll quote her here:
"When I learned that unschooling was a possibility, I was thrilled tha we could continue to live as we had been since my oldest daughter was born. I found the answers to my questions, which in reality I had known all along. Children belong with their families. Nothing is more important than living in connection with the ones you love and sharing life's experiences. We can't help but learn as we live full and interesting lives together.
When we rejected the kind of life that comes with a roadmap, we were able to question what it was we wanted from our lives and to determine what we do not want. We want joy. We want to know that we lived consciously and in the moment. We do not want to mold our children. We want them to have the freedom to choose their lives. We do not want to ever feel that we wasted time that we could have spent together.
Our major reasons for unschooling have nothing to do with academics, but of course there are reasons that we choose not to teach our children. We believe that children (humans) seek out knowledge in the same way they seek out fun or food, and we believe that adults can do a lot to interfere with that desire to learn. We don't believe that repetition is necessary or that there is a list of things that every person needs to know. We believe that turning the relationship of parent and child into a relationship between teacher and student is detrimental. We want our children to own their learning and to learn for their own reasons, not to please a teacher.
My husband and I have determined what it is we live by, what matters, and what does not. It has evloved and will continue to evolve as we face new challenges and joys in our lives. We want to choose the lives we lead, and we want our children to have the opportunity to do the same.
Ultimately, I'd say that the reason that we choose to unschool is because we want our childre to be truly free."
Wow....I know that we, too, are still evolving and making choices every day that lead us to a more joyful life. Thanks to Rue and others that spend so much time writing about it so that people like us can benefit.
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